A hobby??

hmmm..
How do I start this? I'm not really sure if writing about tarot is a good call.
I guess I can start by saying, I won something today!! I haven't really won anything before, so this makes me excited!! I won a 1year premium membership for a tarot org.. Its a big deal, because most of the members are professional tarot readers that either written their own book or created/produced their own tarot cards..  Some of them have their own radio shows.. The perks, I get to attend classes and learn this craft from a group of people who had been teaching and exploring the metaphysical world for 20years and more.. Its not just tarot though, there's EFT, hypnotism, life coaching, meditation, a combination of everything you need to somehow be on your own and establish a business that focuses on helping emotionally burdened people get their power back..

I think this is another journey that is opening up for me right now. I'm truly fascinated with it, but at the same time I'm reluctant to go all the way because I just don't see myself doing this kind of thing.. Sometimes it feels like I'm being led to it though..I said that, because I hear all the stories behind this book authors and It somehow resonates greatly with my own personal experiences too.. Just today, this one author said the first time she bought her first tarot cards, she felt like its empty.. It was wrapped in a big box, but when she opened it, the cards were neatly placed in the middle and there's nothing else there.. No instruction, no guide for the cards meaning.. And that's exactly how mine happened too.. I was in Barnes and Nobles and was basically just looking for something to do.. I was experiencing a lot of anxiety during that time, so I started piling myself with little hobbies, just something to help me avoid over thinking myself to death.. I was looking at Origami section and somehow I saw some tarot cards on sale. So i picked it up too.. And when I came home and open the box, my exact thoughts were "what duh? its empty? no instruction?" I mean there were instruction, telling me to focus on my question and do a certain spread but at the end of the day, "how do i know what the cards mean?" I have tons of questions that I needed answers right away.. And from there I was stumped. I did still tried to lay out some cards but It was blank.. If anything it made me feel silly. You know how when you pressed someone for truth but if they didn't wanna tell you then there's really nothing much you can do, but just deal with yourself and let them be; Because at the end of the day, in every given situation and relationship the only person you can control is you and the only reaction you can control is yours.. That was part of what I was dealing with back then.. So I felt like the tarot cards slapped me in the face too.. All I got from it was a screaming "They don't wanna deal with you, and I don't wanna deal with you either, so Deal with it!!" So yep.. I putted it back on its box and forgot about it..

A lot of things happened since then, but when I got my self all settled here in NC.. I came across the cards again, and this time I spread it all out in my living room and finally I get it, the symbolism speaks to me..Then from there I joined a forum, bought books, self taught myself, used Joylene as my guinea pig and other willing participants from the forum, and now Tada!! Classes are being handed to me, no strings attached..

Makes me wonder where this will lead me..

psychic fair

Yep! it is what it is.. I went to a psyhic fair!! It's a place where all this psychic gather, and you can get free readings.. Whats my excuse?? Its saturday and i have nothing better to do.. Lolz I've always wanted to attend one before, but being I'm a closet believer of this things, i avoided it in the past so I don't get that "you're such a weirdo" stare..

What I got from it.. Well I went to four tarot readers, with the same question to test if they would all say the same thing.. I know tarot readers hates a client like that, but sign me up for a believer/pessimistic/ too curious to turn away/ too careful to fully put myself out there.. I have some knowledge of what the cards meant, been reading books about it. I'd been frequenting 2websites this past year, to engage in some self taught / lets practice reading for each other discussions.. So I kind of know how it works and I can totally tell if someone is just pretending to be a psychic to scam for money.. Trust me, its out there.. Remember when Charlotte (sex and the city) went to a psychic to ask if she'd ever get pregnant and the psychic started telling her that she's been hex and they can fix it for extra charges of course?..

My thoughts are scattered right now, but i wanna point out, that i do do do love to be around tarot readers / tarot students.. I learn so much from them especially when it comes to thinking positive, brainstorming for different options, thinking outside the box and looking at the bigger picture of a situation.. It's like learning a new language..

Okay! Basically with my voice recorder, I asked this four readers the same question and never gave them any background info. about it..  It's like attending a class and recording the entire lecture so I can listen to it, over and over again.. and Its like going to different doctors to get a second, third and fourth opinion..

First reader got the 4ofcups + twin souls + the sun

and said this: "its all possible but you are putting too many conditions on it. You're saying "i want to be successful but", you're making it too specific. In other words, you wanna get this but you wanna get it in a certain way, rather than saying, "this is what i choose to experience. In other words, you really need to look closer on what you're wanting. What you're asking for may not really be your best choice. The ideas and the possibilities are limitless. So rather than putting limits on it by saying "i will be happy when, i will be happy how".. just go ahead and do it. and that's one aspect of yourself, i mean when you look at soul twins, that can really help you with it. If you can just go ahead and become what you choose to experience. I mean in other words, in the next 3days, every night before you go to bed, spend 15minutes, and live what you choose to experience in your head like it was already accomplish. If its waking up in the morning knowing you have unlimited funds, or you're living on your dream house, whatever it is that's gonna take you to be happy and feel secure. If you already feel it, you're creating a space for it to exists. In other words, maybe make a list of what you choose to experience, and go over your list carefully, cuz its something that only you can write, and when you know that everything on that list is a done deal then you will be just happier than a pig in mud, okay.. Dude, live it in your head for 15minutes a night, 3days in a row and i guarantee you in the 4th day the sun will shine.. Thats when you're gonna have those possibilities and things are going to open up for you, in ways that you haven't even thought of yet.. You got too many restrictions on it right now. You need to move past the barriers you already impose on yourself. Okay! "

2nd reader got the transition + queen of pents + 6ofswords

and said this: "I got transition, that's awesome! It's not unusual to get this card, when you graduate from high school or university. or when you are moving. Yes. you are going through a major change, a complete transition. It's a really interesting card to get, look at all the symbolism, its a young woman with a butterfly wings, emerging from her cocoon, also the white rose is there waiting for you. Transition is the perfect card to get. It sounds like you are ready for a transition. I got the queen of pentacle, which is very perfect. I can hear the queen of pentacles, literally from your voice. and that's what you want to get to.. you need to get to a secure financial place and happy space. Thats what you are after. and your last card is the 6ofswords, im getting the feeling that you are going to be moving on to a better place.. I love the symbolism of this card, the lady is moving on from this island to that fortress and she's leaving all the swords behind. Swords are thoughts.. and you need to leave this thoughts that are not serving you behind.."

3rd reader got the 8ofcups + 9of pent + the star

and she said: "as far as the focal here, we got the 9ofpentacles. This is a woman who is her own comfort and safety. She is her own security. And by your own effort, whatever you are willing to put on it, you are going to be very successful. If there's any kind of losses involve, don't worry about it, its all good! The abundance, the prosperity, the inner peace its there for you. The only thing, when you get the 9ofpentacles, there is a vague feeling that something is missing, and thats because what you are going to leave behind is shown in the 8ofcups. There's some dysfunctional hurt that needs to be release, there's energy invested that is put on an issue that is no longer valid, and you are coming in your own knowledge of your own cycle. Right now, its almost like you're losing what you believe is your own security, its not.. You need to follow that insight, and allow the hope, the inspiration, all of this to really eliminate where your gonna let it light the dark.. You have a lot of strong forces beside you. You got new perception, you got new prospect. It is a very lasting value. Take heart. Be your own security.

4th reader got the 6ofwands + high priest + 8ofwands

and he said: "What i got is the six of wands. Foremost, it is the success card. There is something hidden, and I want you to tap into your intuition, to find out what that is.. Also I want you to be more clear in communicating what you want.. Quick communication.. Say what you want, live it in your head. What you are seeing in your physical reality does not matter. Say it, claim it, believe it. I think you keep on second guessing yourself. Don't. You haven't missed out on anything. You are on the right path. You are moving to a promised land, a fertile soil where everything you plant grows almost instantly. Look at the 8ofwands, you feel like you are in the dark but the truth is, it's ready to inject you with lights. You may not see it yet but things are coming together for you."

Isn't it amazing how they are almost saying the same thing ^_^

I left feeling positive..
Thank God!!! Can you imagine how I would feel if they all drew a bad card?..